happy (cough, hack) birthday to you

Winnie Langley celebrated her 100th birthday and, Arnica guesses, also celebrated smoking her 170,000th cool stick. The article states that she started smoking in 1914 when she was 7-years-old.

One night, while hosting a Karaoke party at a bar for dear friends wedding, Arnica got very drunk and thought standing outside and smoking a cigarette would be a fine idea. Arnica had smoked for years and years and had quit 6 years prior. The taste of tobaccy on his lips tasted good... at first. Upon getting in the car to go home (Arnica was driven home), Arnica no felt so good. His head started to spin. Long story short. the short one mile ride to Arnica's mansion proved to almost be too long. Upon reaching the grounds of the compound, it was all Arnica could do to drag his failing brain and body out of the car and find a small bush to crawl next to, vomit on, and use as a bed for the rest of the entire night. What else, what else? Oh yes, Arnica had been drinking red girly drinks the whole night and since this was a wedding deal, was wearing an expensive black suit. In the morning, Arnica was wearing a wrinkled, wooded, pink and black former suit.


ah, good times, good times.


Happy One Hundred!