Monday, March 29

Thursday, March 11

Did Arnica miss anything?

If you, correctly, only check this blog once a year, then you will not have noticed anything strange. But, if you, incorrectly, check this blog on a more than annual basis, you will notice that Arnica has not posted in a few months. Why? Arnica has been very busy these past months attempting to save the planet, But has recently given up on such a lofty endeavor because, after watching an episode of Real House Wives of Atlanta, three episodes of The Bachelor, four episodes of The Forgotten, and six minutes of the nightly news, Arnica has decided that the world is beyond help.

What was it, you who has too much time on your hands might ask, that brought Arnica back to the fold and caused him to post another post thingy on this blog-a-ma-jiggy?

Well Arnica will tell you. There is a movie coming out. The movie is about one of the greatest rock band ever, The Runaways. Now, Arnica has no idea what their music sounded like but knows they were a great band because he has seen pictures. Arnica feels it is his obligation to rank the hotness of the band members, from memory. Ready? Here we go.

1: The singer, Cherie Currie.
2: The drummer who shall remain nameless (because Arnica has no idea who she was).
3: Joan Jett, black leather hotness
4: Everybody else who was ever in the band
5: Lita Ford, who didn't get hot until her solo career.

There, now you know.

Thursday, September 24

It's been a dream

Arnica has no idea who these stinky European blokes are, but they did what Arnica has dreamed of doing ever since he was a wee lad sitting on his parent's knee watching Van Halen perform/lip sync on American Bandstand.

These Boys switched instruments after being told they were going to lip sync their song for this show. The drumming is the best. The funny thing is, since this is electro-pop crap with lots of synth and keyboards, it's really hard to tell they are faking it. the not sing when you should part is a dead give away.

Tuesday, September 22

The poor man's Micheal J. Fox tries break into comedy

Who is this guy? He looks so familiar—like Arnica has seen him on TV. Arnica cannot quite put his grubby finger on it, but he feels like this dude used to be on some show, back in the eighties, about some family where the dad was a doctor that worked at home and the wife was a professional and... Oh ya!

This is Malcom Jamal Warner, of The Cosby Show, doing a little stand-up routine on the you-tubes. Malcom was big in the eighties, but Arnica does not remember him being funny. Now, in the zeros, it appears he is a fricken laugh riot. Check out his act.

Oh Arnica's gawd, that was funny. Arnica peed his pants (well he would have peed them had he been wearing them but Arnica prefers to get his blog on with no pants on). That was hysterical. Wow, he sure can tell a tale. Pure talent that Warner fellow.

Anyway, this chick, in addition to being three things; smart, super hot, and correct (Wait, she is four things. She is smart, hot and correct, AND sorely in need of a new hair stylist. The blind retarded one she uses now—not so good.), has the best response to Malcolm Jamal Warner's comedy bit. Someone, get that girl a bottle of relaxer. STAT!

Lord, Arnica has never wanted to be a flat iron more than he does right now. Let Arnica take out your wave, baby.

ArniMo Out!

But you can be retared for the party. That's fine

Who is she? Nobody?

Why did Arnica post this? Last night, Arnica was enlightened when he watched an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta—a show that would be better titled: too many wrecks, not enough trains. One of the whores on the show tried to record a dance song. The song was amazingly bad. But the recording is slightly less bad than expected. Still sucks, but not as much as Arnica thought it would.

Enjoy. If that is even possible with this turd on toast.

Monday, August 24

bike racing dork rap

There are four types of bicycle riders. There are your old folks riding the comfort bikes, going 2 miles and complaining about how sore their butts are. There are awesome riders such as yours truely, who ride bikes not caring how they look, and not caring how heavy their bikes are, and who ride long distances for fun and who also enjoy drinking and drug taking while riding. There are the hipster track bike riders, and there are the racers.

This video is funny and pokes fun of hipsters and racers.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Saturday, August 22

two girls, two bikes, too cool

Arnica's star pupils in his expert gymnastics/bike repair class have decided to strike out on their own and try their luck in the world of competitive bike dancing. Break a leg, Olga and Cornelia. Your country is rooting for you (to not get hurt).

Wednesday, August 19

Blow up the Cruck

What's a cruck? Half car, half truck. 100% blow-up-able.

My pal, Micheal Serpe has a car that he needs blowed up. Help him, Conan.

Arnica first met Micheal after watching him open for Jeromy Enigk at the Old New Moe's Rocking Something or Another, in 1996. Michael records and releases his own records on his own record label, HomeRecordedCulture. Micheal has even been gracious enough to let Arnica play bass and guitar on a few songs. Arnica has no idea what songs those would be since it has been such a long time since the sessions, and because Arnica doesn't care about personal recognition of his true artistic ability. He does it for the music.

Micheal now lives in Arizona where it's hot all the time. He has a car. He wants to blow it up.

this picture is included so that Arnica can include it in his facebook entry.

Monday, August 17

Um, ya.

Are you unintentionally turned on? Ya, Arnica is too.

if you don't have the money for this great device, give Arnica a call. He has something you can use as a replacement.

Friday, August 14

No tear in Arnica's beer

Two people who have caused Arnica much consternation with their musical constipation, Brooks and Dunn have announced that they are splitting up their un-musical duo after 20 years of creating the worst country music the world has ever seen.

To that news, Arnica says, "Fark Ya!" They sucked. Their brand of country music represented all that is bad with country music. They were the Barry Manilow of country music. It pains Arnica to say that since he loves him some Manilow. But you get the point. Brooks and Dunn made awful music, and they made lots of it, and they got paid well for it.

But rambling on about how sucky Brooks and Dunn's music is was not the point of this bloggy wordy thingy Arnica is typing. The reason for the ramble is to state publicly that Arnica has always believed Brooks and Dunn to not only be a music duo but they are (or were) a romantic Duo. That's right. You heard it hear first. Brooks and Dunn are gay. And to that, Arnica believes this music break up is caused by a romantic break up. Yes, Arnica is saying what you think he is saying. B and D were a couple and have now broken up. There. Arnica said it. He feels better.

First, Let Arnica say, he loves the gays. He supports the gays and wishes they could all suffer under the yoke of marriage like the rest of us. Why should they have all the fun? Arnica is fascinated with closeted gay famous people too. Arnica is always (incorrectly) guessing which stars are gay. So far, Arnica has pegged Miley Sirus, Billy Ray Sirus, Leo Sayer, Van Morrison, Doug Sowers, Joe Walsh, Peggy Lee, Chet Atkins, Angus Young, Cliff Burton, Willie Nelson, Nancy Wilson, Muddy Waters, Sting, Bono, and Shakira as being "the Gay." And the list grows.

Anyway, Brooks and Dunn make bad music, have beards that look as if they had just been shampooed and conditioned, wear horrible outfits, take photographs wearing tons of eyeliner, have had massive plastic surgery, and are rarely seen apart from each other. Minus the wretched music, they might as well be headlining in Vegas with their wild Tiger show in Cesar's Palace.

Wednesday, August 12

drum thing good sound

Is this a drum the banger is banging on or is it just a dumb-arse electronic drum who-ha that makes bad musicians sound better than they actually are? if it is the former and not the latter, then we have something worth watching.

Tuesday, August 11

Bass Player Found

As you no doubt know, Arnica is trying to piece together the greatest group of musicians from around the world to join his band, The Chord Of Power, and make the mostest awesomest music man or woman or non-gender specific person has ever heard.

It is with great joy that Arnica brings you his new bass player. His/Her/It's name is not important at this time. At this time, it is important to just receive the visual and audio pleasure,this guy/gal/thing is throwing down and let it sink in before you make an opinion about his/her/it's awesomeness.

Please do yourself a favor and try as hard as you can to watch this to the 1:20 mark. Or if your stomach cannot take that much awesomeness, fast forward to the 1:20 mark. As hard as it is to believe, it gets better, much much better.

Monday, August 10

He's back!

Arnica keeps trying to retire from his life of crime, but the powers that be keep calling him back.

Alright aready! Arnica will post some more awesome awesomeness.

Today finds Arnica happy and without his cellphone. Arnica left his phone on the bed stand of his pastor's house after spending a long, hard, night getting his sins forgiven. Arnica's sins have been absolved but now Arnica has no way of receiving important calls from his drug dealer, bookie or pastor. How will Arnica be able to do his favorite activity—sniffing blow off his pastor's arse crack while betting on the ponies?

Arnica will figure something out.

Arnica will go knocking on the door of his pastor the next time he feels like a naughty boy needing a good spanking. Arnica has been a bad boy—a very bad boy.

Monday, July 20

Happy Hot Days

it's too hot to blog. Arnica's brain done melted. Leave a comment, yelling at Arnica to get his ass in gear and blog about something in a snarky fashion, and Arnica will kick-start his head and get going with somemore blog entries that will blow your mind.

Wednesday, July 15

Tuesday, July 14

Auditions for Arnica's Axe Man Move Forward

Last week, Arnica announced that he had found his new lead guitarist for his band, Arnica Montana and the Chords of Power. He may have spoken too soon.

This morning incredible video of the youngest awesomest shredder made its way onto Arnica's screen. The competition to be the greatest guitarist for the lamest band heats up.

Monday, July 13

Arnica is busy am making web sites

As you are know, Arnica is make good web sites. He is make many sites for you to enjoying. Please look for example Arnica is showing you now for pleasure and fun.

If you are want hire Arnica to make your website, you can emailing him and pay moneys to him so he can making your site. Please are bringing real money and please are bringing good ideas to the tables so Arnica can makes you a damn good web site.

you are clicking here to finding the latest site Arnica is made.

you are good person. Arinca is loving you.

Friday, July 10

Been wronged?

If so, all you have to do is write a song, record it, make a video, distribute it. Then wait a year and watch the retribution roll in.

Thursday, July 9

hippie cops must be stopped

Cops are good for one thing—fucking with people and being arse holes. OK, that's two things but Arnica was never good at geography.

Here is a clear example of some cops (in some weird and strange land) doing things they should not oughta be doing—namely, showing compassion to folks to whom they should just be giving citations to and tossing in jail. Next thing you know cops are going to french kiss you after they give you a speeding ticket.

Hmm? Yummy! Get in the car. We are on a mission from gawd!