Friday, August 14

No tear in Arnica's beer

Two people who have caused Arnica much consternation with their musical constipation, Brooks and Dunn have announced that they are splitting up their un-musical duo after 20 years of creating the worst country music the world has ever seen.

To that news, Arnica says, "Fark Ya!" They sucked. Their brand of country music represented all that is bad with country music. They were the Barry Manilow of country music. It pains Arnica to say that since he loves him some Manilow. But you get the point. Brooks and Dunn made awful music, and they made lots of it, and they got paid well for it.

But rambling on about how sucky Brooks and Dunn's music is was not the point of this bloggy wordy thingy Arnica is typing. The reason for the ramble is to state publicly that Arnica has always believed Brooks and Dunn to not only be a music duo but they are (or were) a romantic Duo. That's right. You heard it hear first. Brooks and Dunn are gay. And to that, Arnica believes this music break up is caused by a romantic break up. Yes, Arnica is saying what you think he is saying. B and D were a couple and have now broken up. There. Arnica said it. He feels better.

First, Let Arnica say, he loves the gays. He supports the gays and wishes they could all suffer under the yoke of marriage like the rest of us. Why should they have all the fun? Arnica is fascinated with closeted gay famous people too. Arnica is always (incorrectly) guessing which stars are gay. So far, Arnica has pegged Miley Sirus, Billy Ray Sirus, Leo Sayer, Van Morrison, Doug Sowers, Joe Walsh, Peggy Lee, Chet Atkins, Angus Young, Cliff Burton, Willie Nelson, Nancy Wilson, Muddy Waters, Sting, Bono, and Shakira as being "the Gay." And the list grows.

Anyway, Brooks and Dunn make bad music, have beards that look as if they had just been shampooed and conditioned, wear horrible outfits, take photographs wearing tons of eyeliner, have had massive plastic surgery, and are rarely seen apart from each other. Minus the wretched music, they might as well be headlining in Vegas with their wild Tiger show in Cesar's Palace.

1 comment:

Doug said...

don't be a dick