Wednesday, August 13

65 ways to simplify your life. Hmmm...

Arnica can think of one way to simplify your life; don't read a list of 65 things of anything.

This is an oxymoron if ever there was an oxymoron, but Arnica cannot back that claim up since he isn't rightly sure what an oxymoron is. Up until ten minutes ago, Arnica thought an oxymoron was another name for Rush Limbaugh.

Arnica will now simplify your life by saving you from reading the Woman's Health Magazine (don't' ask) article and picking out the best items. You are so welcome:

1. Create the perfect 11th-Hour gift with a click and a card
(better titled: How to piss off your friends)
6. Break a pool rack without looking like an ass
7. Make people want to look at your ass
11. Choose an easygoing pup
(better yet, grab a pile of poop from your toilet and smear it on your carpet. same results, half the headache)

that's it. Arnica read the whole darn thing, completely complicated his life and, with any luck, made yours just that much simpler.

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