If only it was that simple.

Detroit Churches Pray for ‘God’s Bailout’

Dear Gawd,
Arnica prays to thee on bended elbows, that you see fit to increase the size of Arnica's love sausage. Oh, Arnica knows you have already endowed him with above average brains, awesome good looks and a modest heart, but a bigger schlongo-bongo would really help out things at the Arnica compound.

Also Gawd, please take a look at your back list of requests. Arnica is still waiting for his date with Lonnie Anderson. She's not getting any younger.

Thanks. That's All. Bye.