Wednesday, July 2

Blow your ferking fingers off for all Arnica cares

Ya-fawking-hoo. The euw-ess-of-aye- has seen kindly enough to bless all red blooded americans and also godless terrorists, such as yours truely, with a holiday and a day away from work to celebrate the most important of american rights; the right to blow shit up.

So, what is Arnica's take on the Fourth, and with firecrackers?

Glad you asked. Fireworks are stupid things for stupid people. Ok, that said, you should know something about Arnica. He lives in a place called "Unincorporated King County." What is this mysterious and magical place? It is a place where city laws regarding fireworks don't apply, so rednecked dick-wads can go to the reservations, pick up $1000 worth of loud, boomy, obnoxious, barely legal, probably dangerous fireworks, and blow them up in their driveway, starting at noon July 1st, and lasting until well into the weekend.

Every year, Arnica's compound is inundated and attacked by incoming missiles and rockets. Now, don't get Arnica wrong, watching professional grade fireworks explode in the air from the comfort of your living room is fun... for the first couple hours. At 3AM, it's not so fun anymore.

Somebody please incorporate Arnica's Arse. and bring ear plugs.

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