Wednesday, January 7

The rock of wreck

There are many things in Arnica's life that are a waste of his valuable time. Flossing teeth, eating vegetables, listening to country music (that crappy kind on the radio-not the good stuff), paying attention to politics after the election, petting animals, and working are all things in Arnica's life that take him away from the important stuff.

One of those important stuffs is watching the best show on the tayvay, Rock of Love, or, Rock or Wreck, as Arnica likes to call it.

What's Rock of Love? Well, grass smoker, let Arnica drop some knowledge on you. Rock of Love is only the greatest reality show ever. It stars the often imitated, never taken seriously, Bret Michaels. Who is Bret Michaels?* Bret Michaels is best known for being the lyrical genius behind the single greatest rock balled of all times, Every Rose Has it's Thorn, and for being the lead singer of the band that made that song famous, Poison. What's Poison? **

Rock of Love is the Hard Rock version of The Bachelor. But in this case, the hunky single guy is replaced with an aged has-been rocker lamester, and the young ladies vying for his affection are replaced with what can only be described as the missing links in leather miniskirts.

A case in point is in this week's episode. This was the first episode of the new season and it had all the "ladies" in a room waiting to meet the "man" of their dreams. While in the room, they drink tons of free booze and get trashed. Eventually, Bret enters the room and all the "females" lunge at him trying to get his attention. Some made out with him, some danced for him, and one special lady did something to get his attention that made Arnica throw up a bit in his mouth.

She served him a shot; a body shot; a twat shot; a money shot. She put a shot glass in her chewbacca and let Bret grab the glass with his mouth.

A waste of time? Arnica thinks not.

* Wow, how's that cave treating you? Do you have it all decorated nicely in Danish Modern? Hung some curtains in it? Added an Ottoman in the corner? Stocked it with Ikea's great space saving accessories? That's good. You really want to make it comfortable, since you have been camped out in it for so long. Come on out. The water is fine.

** Arnica has the utmost of respect for you. If you don't know what Poison is, or was, then you must be too busy working to find a cure for cancer or male pattern baldness. Gawd bless you.

2 comments:

House of Brat said...

I thought that picture was Vince Neil before you mentioned that it's Bret Michaels. He looks terrible!

Arnica Montana said...

the funny thing is, back in the day, he was the young version of Vince. now, after many surguries, vince looks better than bret.