Monday, February 9

Grammy Slammy

The rich, formerly creative, currently irrelevant people congratulating themselves show was on last night. You might know it by it's christian name—The Grammys. What an awesome spectacle of suck that was. Suck like that hasn't been acheived since last year's Grammys.

There were three times during the show where the spotlight of suckiness shone it's brightest. The first was when the super sucky Jone-Ass sisters took the stage with Arnica's Lord and Savior, Sir Stevie Wonder, and proceeded to destroy all of his credibility by performing Superstition. The second was the "summit" where five guys who yell in mics, yelled in mics while a disturbingly pregnant woman gyrated next to them wearing an also disturbing ladybug outfit. Arnica loves him some rap but has grown tired of hearing the seven hundredth reference to rims, grills, butts, and money.

Is that all you got, summit guys? Arnica is afraid you may be played out, like the rusty death-trap merry-go-round in Arnica'a playground of his youth. You are bad for the kids and Arnica fears getting lock-jaw if he touches you. Stop. Write about something else, Arnica begs you. Stop.
Oh, and the third instance of suck was when ColdPlay got their award for sucking. Nice outfits! You couldn't have been more British than you were last night. Arnica's hair dresser who watched the Grammy's with him, mentioned how "stinky" they looked. Stinky, indeed. Stinky metaphorically and stinky smellingly.

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