Ben Franklin's Best Invention

You know that parlor trick where some dude takes a glass of wine and a wet finger and creates an annoyingly annoying ringing tone and you beg him to stop and he wont and you offer to buy him a drink and he still wont stop so you fire a shot across the bow and you miss and hit the woman next to him and she goes down like a brick and her boyfriend who was flirting with the bartender stops his flirting and stands up to defend his girlfriend and when he stands up you notice he is 6'10 and you are 5'5 when you wear lifts so you run out of the bar like a little girl? Well, this is kinda like that but better.