Wednesday, December 19

Arnica's gift

This morning, Arnica was on the road to his top-secret laboratory and when he got on the little freeway leading to the big freeway, the traffic was at a complete stop. A quick turn of the radio dial to the traffic station revealed that there was an accident a mile ahead blocking one of the two lanes. With Arnica's superb luck, he was in the lane that did not host the accident, so Arnica's lane was moving much faster than was the lane that was riddled with bad commuter luck. So, as you would expect, the cars in the slower lane were all trying to merge into the faster lane.

Directly behind Arnica's sweet ride was a dorkus magnficus that was tailgating Arnica. Traffic is moving 1 to 3 miles per hour, people are trying to merge and this bozo doesn't want anybody to cut in between him and Arnica. Now Arnica is used to people wanting to get close to his ass; It happens all the time at the clubs (perhaps Arnica goes to the wrong kinda clubs), but this guy was killing Arnica's holiday buzz and joy at being able to spend more precious time away from the lab and in Arnica's car enjoying the enjoyableness of morning drive-time radio.

So Arnica decided to spread some holiday cheer to all the cars ahead of him in the next lane and proceeded to let as many cars in as he could. Arnica let in two semi trucks, a van, a bug and at least two soccer mom cars. All while scrooge McPoopyPants kept riding about four inches from Arnica's rear bumper.

And to all a good commute.


Mark Iverson said...

Dude, you're my HERO! That eggzactly what I would do.

Arnica Montana said...

Thor, you are my hero. the way you zip up those hill with your muscles glistining in warm sun, you complete me.