Monday, December 31

Meat balls and no-fat creamer make Arnica complete

It wouldnt be the end of the year without a list of some of Arnica Montana's favorite things of 2008. Ready? OK!

10. This sweater Arnica is wearing that his Madame Sweetie gave him for Two Days Off In A Row day. It is both stylish and comfy and flame resistant.

9. The Porno DVD Arnica found on the bus last spring. Spring sprung (sprang, springed) that season if you know what Arnica means.

8. Joining NetFlix. Now Arnica can choose movies he has never heard of, wait 4 days for them to show up in his mailbox, have the DVDs sit on his table for days before watching half of movie and falling asleep; all without a late fee.

7. Trader Joes Frozen Meatballs. These have been around for years but it isn't till now that Arnica has been thankful for them.

6. Arnica's nubbin under his right armpit. When Madame Sweetie plays with it just so, his right leg twitches uncontrollably.

5. Bikini cut underwear. It keeps the junk in the trunk without squeezing the funk.

4. Coffee Mate Hazel-Nut No Fat coffee cream. On the list for the same reasons as the frozen meatballs.

3. Extra Lite gauge guitar strings. Arnica's delicate fingers cannot fret chords like they once could and extra lite gauge strings make it so Arnica can suck musically without pain to his digits.

2. Movies on airplanes. Arnica is not facing multiple manslaughter charges because of this invention. There seem to be less obnoxious kids hitting the back of Arnica's seat these days. Perhaps this is why.

1. You. Arnica loves you, whoever the fuck you are. Everytime Arnica goes to view his profile, which is often because he is such a narcesitic flake, he sees that his profile views keep going up. So either that means that the same 5 people keep going back to view his profile or there are some new people visiting his blog. Arnica knows that his friends aren't going to his blog because every time he is with a friend and asks, " did you see Arnica's last post?" they always say, "Oh ya, what is your blog's URL again?"

So thank you, stranger and please leave a comment and feed Arnica's fragile ego.

That is all.

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