Wednesday, May 7

Van Hagar causes Cancer

Hard to believe but Arnica has a history of putting unhealthy things in his mouth and sucking. No, no, no. You are a naughty monkey. Arnica used to smoke.

It started when Arnica was a teenager and was preparing to attend an awesomely awesome Van Halen Concert. During his preparation to look as cool as he could, after donning the requisite ripped and acid splashed jeans, the hi-top basketball shoes, the ripped concert shirt from a show Arnica didn’t even attend, and the red bandanna wrapped precisely around Arnica's right wrist, Arnica decided he needed a pack of smokes to complete the look. At this time in young Arnica’s life, he had not mastered the art of binge drinking yet, and wasn’t into the idea of sneaking booze into the Kingdome (ya, baby). Also, Arnica was no fool, he knew how much easier it was for a teenager to buy smokes than it was to buy booze. Arnica chose the accessory he knew he would have any easier time getting.

Now Arnica was no stranger to tobacco. When he was 15, he used to spend his paper route money to by cigars and would smoke them after school or just about anywhere he knew he would have enough time to take off his clothes and put them in the dryer for thirty minutes to get the smell off of them before is parents could smell him. Before that, when Arnica was 12, the kids in the school yard used to bring chewing tobacco tins that their older brothers had thrown away and we would scrape the tins and put the residue in our mouths and get high. Ain’t no buzz like a chewing tobacco buzz in the playground. So buying a pack of smokes at 17 was the next step towards a fine future of nicotine neediness .

Arnica bought KOOLs. Once he was clear of his parents Chevy Van that had dropped him off at the front of the concert, Arnica broke the pack open and started to enjoy both the lovely music (BTO opened) and the lovely cigarettes. Since Arnica had only previously smoked cigars, Arnica proceeded to smoke four cigarettes that night as if they were cigars and did not inhale. It was not until weeks later when Arnica found that pack of smokes in his pocket that Arnica discovered what KOOLs were all about. If you know anything about smokes, you know KOOLs are menthol cigarettes. Arnica inhaled and got a nice bit of menthol soaked smoke in his lungs, and better yet, got his first real nicotine buzz. Arnica felt like his feet were lighter than air and was floating above the world. That lasted about 20 seconds. The next buzz lasted 19 seconds, the next one lasted 18, and so on and so on. It got to the point were there was not buzz what so ever, just the jones for more smokes.

That pack of KOOLs was the first and last pack of menthols Arnica would purchase. Arnica moved on to a variety of flavors, stopping temporarily on Benson and Hedges, but finally ending up smoking Camels for years and years. Towards the end, Arnica had fooled himself into thinking American Spirits were much healthier for him than regular smokes, so he started smoking those.

Anyway, we will stop this topic for now and save the rest for later. Still to come; how Arnica quit, and Arnica’s one night puking in the bushes relapse.

Stay tuned.

BTW- this whole entry idea got started when Arnica saw the above picture. It got Arnica thinking and reminiscing about the old days.

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