Monday, July 7

Guitar Hero-Can't we all just get along?

Over this past weekend, Klanus-Arnicus hung out with some good pals visiting from New Hempster. And during the hang out session, Arnica got the rare but always satisfying honor of kicking everyone's arse playing Guitar Hero. Arnica laid to waste all who dared to pretend their meager skills at hitting buttons was any match for Arnica's mad talents and hugely unmatchable button hitting prowess.

It was after Arnica's twelfth and least satisfying victory over the hugely under skilled and over matched, Suzie, that Arnica realized that this was all wrong. Arnica's victories, although deserved, were hollow and unfulfilling. While Arnica did prove that he is a master fake-wanker, the wins came at a price. The price was the realization that music and competition do not good bedfellows make. Music is best enjoyed when not trying to hurl digital mic stands at your counterpart on stage to try to get them to make a mistake.

Arnica realized that Guitar Heroes is ruining the musical youth of the world. Arnica is not just talking about the "pass the doutchee on the left hand side" kinda musical youth. He is talking about all the musical youth, and musical old and musical middle aged, as well. Guitar Hero is teaching us that music is about competition, and about beating other people, and then standing over the corpse of the defeated and defecating on their still warm carcass (... wha? Trying to make a point here.). OK, Guitar Hero is not that bad but it does try to make music a competitive event. And that ain't what music should be about. Ya, ya, ya, Arnica knows. "What about Star Search and American Idol?" To that, Arnica says, "um, well that's different, shut up." The point is, if Guitar Hero is supposed to help the average Joe get a sense of what being on stage is like and what making music might be like, then it should issue a joint to every player, that he/she has to smoke in the bathroom stall between songs. And after you win money for playing, the club manger should come up and take half the money away and say it is to pay for the band's bar tab. Now that would be realistic.

Anyway, after patiently listening to Arnica's diatribe and for him to get back from the tinkle room, Susie offered a solution. She suggested changing settings on the game so that we would play together and accumulate a score as a team. Arnica thinks this setting was called, "godless communist/socialist regime indoctrination primer" mode. Not sure. This setting, had us playing together against the real enemy, the audience. If you have ever been on stage, you know the last person you want to be dueling with is your band mate. the farks out in the crowd, getting sloshed on drink specials, yelling out, " Freebird" are the real enemy.

After that, great fun was had by all as nobody was getting schooled by the master anymore.

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